Love Is Our Resistance 1 - "Goodbyes"

Have you ever worry about not being able to see someone special that you know ever again? Though faith holds you together that you'll see that someone again, the tiny slip of chance of otherwise is nerve wrecking. I've not been good with goodbyes. The airport departure hall floor has collected so many tears and i have contributed quite a fair bit of them.  

12th Dec 2009. I did not send my parents off when they had to migrate to the States. The farewell held in my room was immensely painful. I could just hug each of them and if not for my planned 'distraction' for their departure, i didn't want to let them go. For some who might know, Zouk Out was my planned 'distraction'. No i wasn't planning to be a bastard son, but i hated the scene of the departure hall in the airport. Everyone would want turns to say goodbye and when it comes to mine, some idiot would cut in and spoil my moment with them. It has happened before & too many times. Even while i was having my last chat with my parents in my room, my aunt had to barge in and did her 'SURIA CHANNEL' monologue complete with tears and wailing. The other reason was that i did not want to go home crying and upset. Their departure was necessary as they were getting old and life in Singapore has been dragging them down down down down down. Living in states with my Sister's family would be more ideal for them to enjoy their retirement. Though i do understand, this departure is just an Overture to the greatest life challenge that i will face yet. 

7th Jan 2010. This could be a gift of a lesson to learn from God, the date is too coincidental with my 21st Birthday. A friend whom i just got to know for a short while has to migrate back to her homeland due to circumstances that are beyond her control. The gathering last night to catch up with the rest of the bunch of related friends was good. For most of the time, we made her laugh in hopes of her to forget her sorrows  for leaving her life here in Singapore. Though much younger than i am, i truly admire her high spirits and how full of life she is. I could use more friends like her who seem to enjoy the simplest things in life and have a blast be it anywhere or anytime. The event of her leaving will still be painful to handle somehow. 

I realized that its hard for me to let go of special people in my life. Id ideally want to maintain close contact with them and better yet physically able to meet once in a while. For that reason, i cannot decide whether to leave this place for the States when i'm done with Army. I could make a thousand excuses, but the truth is, I am who i am because of all you guys out there who have played your role to forming the character within me. That character of which i have designed suitably to manage you exclusively the way i perceived you should deserved to be treated. When one of you goes missing in my life, is as good as saying that a part of me has vanished or simply, Died.

Love Is Our Resistance.