head jam.

RelationshiT!

Go ahead. 

Hold your hands in public.

Say those 3 words like it was recited from a spelling book.

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Lay your hands on her head, hands weaving into her messy hair.

Wrap your arms around him, feeling the curves on his abs with your chest.

As of when this relationship ends,

there would be one noticeable difference.

its still the same 3 words,

Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Same way you lay your hands, weaving through her messy hair.

Same arm of yours around him, feeling the curves on his abs with your chest.

Only a different body.

Discussion:

Are you comfortable going in and out of relationships? Are you proud of always planning for the next relationship?

Are you alright with having so many "First Kiss" ? Guys, the more the girls you dated is good, isn't it?

Girls, how many guys have you allowed them to laid hands intimately on you? 

How much do you value yourself?

but then again....

anger poisons me.

i shall wake up and it'll all be gone.

URRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

just someone piss me off a little more tonight and i swear ill snap...

and just so you'd know..... that last time i snapped was long before i
could remember.

and it aint pretty.

ARRRGGGHHH!!

FUCK.... you aint good enough. 

So i should just be more conservative about what i do now, shouldn't i?

Tomedonaku afurete
Koboreru namida no kazu hodo
Yarusenai koto mo nai
Zutto hateshinai boku no ai

Baby Sou sa Karada ga tokeru kurai no
Atsui munasawagi ni makasete Woo
Nani mo ka mo koete yukou

Ah- Kimi ni fureru tabi ni kimi e to chikazuite
Ah- Kimi wo kanjita mama boku wa mitasarete
Takamatte iku kokoro wo tashikameru you ni
Kimi wo tsuyoku dakishimeru yo

Imi mo naku sakende
Kowaresou na kokoro nando mo
Nagusameru you ni
Sotto tsutsumikomu kimi no ai

Baby Sou sa Itoshii sono sugata ga
Donna toki ni mo boku wo sasou Woo
Nani mo ka mo wasureru hodo

Ah- Kimi ni fureru tabi ni kimi e to chikazuite
Ah- Kimi wo kanjita mama boku wa mitasarete
Takamatte iku futari no omomuku mama ni
Kimi wo tsuyoku dakishimeru yo

Ah- Kimi ni fureru dake de kokoro wa hazunde
Ah- Kimi ni fureru dake de boku wa mitasarete
Takamatte iku kokoro wo tashikameru you ni
Motto tsuyoku... Yeah

Ah- Kimi ni fureru dake de kokoro wa hazunde
Ah- kimi ni fureru dake de boku wa mitasareru
Ima wa tada kono kimochi wo tayasanai you ni
Kimi wo tsuyoku dakishimeru yo Dakishimeru yo

counting down the days...

i talked about the garden with the White roses.

As some areas begin to wither.

Some are still looking strong.

not sure if its just the rose is weak or i didnt not water it right.

Ill take a closer look and hopefully i can get it back up and

healthy, the way it should.

i feel destroyed.

im mentally and emotionally ripped apart.

im tired. but never ready to yield.

im still fighting on cause of a few special people
who carries on to light up a dark tunnel.

thanks again to my close friends and esp to you, In.

love you guys loads.

Amazing.... Part 1 of 3

CLub again? Well it was Freya's Club Debut being a DJ. So i was
invited over to witness it all.
I've began my DJ course too so being there helped to inspire me that
when im done ill be able
to do the same and get up on the decks cutting tracks and arranging
them in a way that you'll
forget your need to eat, drink or pee and let loose on the dance floor.

So i had 2 invites and i decided to ask Keren along since it has been
a long long time since we
last met. Keren was a good of mine who like me, thought that the
education system in JC was not fit for us and So she agreed and we
met up at 11.30 at Tanjong Pagar Station. I was really impressed
by the way she dressed up, it was the "Premium Edition" if she was
some barbie doll.

// shit its 7.19am and i got class later at 2pm. So im going to take a
sleep first and continue my story later in the day.
// i have sure loads to write about the night. it was like a non-stop
action movie and this one, the ending is pretty
unique and original.

// After last night, my eyes are opened wider to the world that ever
before.

i had a rather amazing dream...

my first kiss came in a dream which felt so real with a special
someone which i think couldn't have been substituted for anyone else.

we we're walking together and she suddenly stopped.

Looked my eye, got closer.

Instinctively i close my eye, she tilted her head sideways.

the rest was just magical.

No other perfect way for that first memorable first kiss.

So real that i swear i can feel it till now.

SLAP me.... i must be dreaming..

part 2.... hahah.

me & the club...

Awesome friends X Good Music X B = HELL OF A GOOD CLUBBING EXPERIENCE!

(where be in an unmentioned variable constant)

inspire.

Untitled from Nur Hakim Azmi on Vimeo.

Something pretty special...

This began a year plus ago.

Am finally glad to finish this.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/50066804b43bf96d/

This is "Rock-a-Bye" by yours Truly.

Hope you all like it!   =D

Gifts and Curses.

If see you're face with every punch i take....

FUCKING PUMPED UP!!!!

HEAR ME OUT BITCHES!!!!

IM FUCKING PUMPED UP AND IM GOING TO SCREW MY NIGHT TO DOING WORK WORK
WORK WORK WORK!!!!

Time to ReAwaken the Firebreather.

I.V.

in the rain.... im calling you dear.

find a way...can't you see me standing right here?

.... life is leading from fear...

... i will take it straight from my vein....

by. Xjapan.

Superwoman.

Gosh!

this is the donkeyth time you came in to the rescue...

Thanks so much In!

You clearly draw the line of "BEST" & "FRIEND"!

"She is my primary school classmate...yea...somehow just that part of us never grew up..."

=D

Looks run in he blood.. I SWEAR!!!

ideas.

Race. preferences . circumstances . Realization .

what you see is merely a skin.

put onto humans to distract them away from the truth.

the truth of our existence,
is that our existence are solely ideas...

ideas generate thought, feeling, opinions, emotions, curiosity.

We began from one sole idea that grew into many cause we are
sophisticated life forms.

Our body is only a tool to getting these ideas across.

I do not want to be judged, preferred, discarded, noticed nor felt for
my skin.

For the skin does not think nor feel nor does it love.

Be it friends or enemies or love, its with the ideas.... not the body.

An apple a day.

Mac is always more than just computing. Its a lifestyle.

Macs are everywhere now.

I woke up to seeing my white macbook on my desk...

The guy who printing the files this morning was on an imac.

Penguine's was a black macbook. (what'd u expect from a penguin uh?)

And then....

came the new aluminum chasis macbooks. just released a few hours ago.

Better graphics like 6X. Backlit key board. LED & Glass Screen. Thinner. Lighter.

Single piece body made from a block of aluminum. Sleek. Smooth. Sharp.

Better. Faster. Stronger..... I've fallen in love all over again.

"You can't go wrong with a Mac"  =D

Disappointed.

Of the fact that im all fired up to get started with my DJ course and yet its only once a week. Its been bad enough to hold back this anxiety for the last one year but to add with the fact that i'll only finish in 2 months time and ill be in NS by then.... I fucking hate speed bumps. 

The first time i plan to do this was on the 27th September 2007. It was during the Ishop Music Carnival where the first ipod touch was released in SG and i was one of the 4 yoyoers featured to perform with the DJs at Ishop. I was truly inspired. I loved music. wait.... I LIVE MUSIC. I grew up young being sang to by my father as a child. Then began to learn to sing at the age of 2. Then began to pick up Violen lessons. Then i went on to organ lessons. Next was the electric guitar where i painstakingly saved up months to get some budget guitar and began learning just picking the strings. That was my first instrument that i had to self taught... although the process was slow, the discovery of building up new skills was amazing. 

Wanting to push my love for music further i began to try to combine sounds from the electric guitars to classical music or pop songs. Soon, i discovered the love to compose music. Listening to your favorite song is always a blessing. What more about creating your own music where it describes how you feel towards something? Priceless. 

Expanding my ideas of composing music led me to explore mixing music. It all brings me into this current pursuit to pick up turntablism. A craft that utilizes skill of the hands and mind, powered by the "feel" that comes when listening to the music. Being with a background of yo-yoing, electric guitars, growing up listening a wide range of genres from oldies to Trance to Hip hop to Metal... somehow i feel right to do this. 

I have to make this work. 

While writing this, an idea came across in my mind. If it all works perhaps its a solid plan to get me up and running within the next one month and a half. 

With a plan now in mind.  Motivate me so i can keep this fire burning even when theres no fuel left.

mxpx on the itune.

You know im never gonna do it without you.

Mirror Mirror

Mirror Mirror On the Wall
You're the biggest liar of them all.
You do not reflect the person that i am.
You judge me very shallowly.
I see you, not me.
I see what you prefer me to be.
I see no heart, nor soul in thee.
&
As distracting as this imperfect rhyme scheme,
was meant to be...
You never let the real me free.
&
Just like soil which buries invaluable secrets,
by force, not by will.
&
If the man behind the mirror exists for real...
Then this skin, isn't me.

by Nur hakim Azmi.

Literature.

Discovery.

Presenting the first of many....

Im using my editing skills to tell a story/thought/opinion toward a particular subject matter. There are things that i just cannot express by words or explanation. Therefore, i try photograph of what i see in my mind. 

Hope you guys like it!

Total eclipse...

Once upon a time i was falling in love.... now im falling apart....

nothing i can do.... total eclipse of the heart.

Warning: Transmitting Subliminal Messages...

total eclipse of the heart.

My Dear Country Men....

Theres no light at the end of the tunnel tonight... just a bridge that
i gotta burn...

gone... Gone... GONE.. GONEE!!!!!!

Vote for Obama.... PLS!!!!

2:26:59 AM Thu

What is a man without fears?

or

What is a man without anything to fight for?

or

What is a man who would sacrifice himself for his believes?

---------------------------------

Who leads the Leaders?

Compare & Contrasts (25 Marks)

Did this for "Penguinie" today. I felt that the first pic which was originally done by the photography was too bright and the objective or purpose of the picture was lost amongst the hues of colors that were in the pic. I feel that photos should carry a perspective and character into them. They should tell a story and not just showcase colored pixels. Whether it is the dress, event, expression or model there should be an explicit focused subject matter. 

So i took the liberty to let my thoughts and perspectives go wild and reedit the pic to the one in black and white. She said its way better. 

Mission Accomplished.

"Pzzzt...Houston..over & out"

 

Work-FcuKing-out!

Monday went for late night soccer from 10pm to 12am @ the Kallang
Cage. Fun stuff as always. However the team got owned by a female
striker. I wonder where they got her from...Like some bionic torres on
the pitch.

Tuesday(Today), went for night swimming. Took Shai's advice to work on
sprint laps rather than long distance swimming. Makes more sense, im
tired as hell in 20 mins as i would be doing laps in 30 mins. Good
thing is i enjoy this after exercise feeling. You are very refreshed
even if the body is partially tired. The 20 min session in the Steam
Room after that was an icing the sugarfree cake as it helped me to
regulate my breathing and get my body some heat therapy. The skin is
usually smoother after swimming and steam rooming. Got back now, am im
planing for the next thing to do before i head to bed.

Wednesday(Preview) going to meet the RPS people to Jalan Raya. Its
been a while since i met them. I think i should go back to visit,chat
and see how they are doing. We've all grown up since then and it'll be
great to see them once more (i hope). "In" is coming late after work.
Im really sorry for her as shes working really hard at school trying
and will have to miss half of the day. But nevertheless, shes coming
so i guess ill just have to drag myself around town till my buddy
comes and join us. Hopefully, this time i can invite my friends over
to my house at night. They've been always wanting to come my place
but never had the chance to. The last time was my old neighbourhood at
Jurong West St 42 Blk 548. That place was EPIC! The hall could fit 3
army platoons with enough extra space to do jumping jacks inside......
after that entire day.... Attica? Mayank's asking me to join the
guys... Ill see if conditions permit me to do so.

Thursday(Preview) going to meet JF in the morning to discuss our
project workplan. Its funny cause it always end up with either of us
trading excuses to change dates even till the last min. However, seems
like this thursday morning going to happen so thats that. Then SCHOOL
afterwards..... Then away to Suntec for Team Spinworkx Xtreme's
Training Session.

Art of Life.

Im breaking the walls, inside my heart.

I just wanna let , my emotions get out.

This is the Art of Life.

another one in the books....

In between these lines.

 

Selena singing in the background 

Carved a new pattern into where this heart was last inscribed. 

Her famous hit of course. I could fall... 

Amazing! I enjoy hugging my bolster to sleep more than ever. 

The song talks about possibilities. 

Realized that this may be someone I may plan to really cherish. 

A feeling, kept and untold. 

Miraculously, I find beauty in entities that are imperfect. Discovery.  =)

Its daunting as secrets are simply uncertainties. 

Enigmatic as it already is, time just adds value to a relationship. 

Decisions.... Urggh... Heartbreaks...Hurrgh!!!! 

Nevertheless, all it takes in a development is time and effort. 

Patience.......

I never really told anyone, 

there is still no sight of the scarlet i've been waiting since last december

However,now, In my garden, 

Nothing but White Roses.

Blow...wind blow...

A breeze. Natures breath. Soul floating back into my body.

When i'm gone

Lines extracted from Eminem's When I'm Gone.

Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?

When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?

What happens when you become the main source of her pain?

I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her

And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back

I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror

These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em

They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight

Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late

And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door

It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on

How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me

The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'

Each extracted line tells a little more about what im going through.

All Systems Go!

So it was a long night for me. 

PART ONE: DIE DIE MUST GET BACK THE BIBLE!!!

Went to Boon Lay Mrt to meet Mengyu to get my Economics Book from her. I got the text while during my JC time. Never really found the time, reason, need, motivation to read this super thick good till i had to do Macroeconomics for my final semester's module. Im hoping the contents can rip apart the mundane black and whites that dominates the school's lecture notes. I am a visual learner. Even when i do math i need to either use rhythms to get the calc right or visualize me doing the sum in my mind. Colors are important in my learning process. I remember best when there are colors in text. Otherwise id color them myself. 

So.... back to getting the book. I was suppose to meet her at 7pm at JE Station but i was on 154 and thought id might as well travel down to Boon Lay on that bus so that i can make life easier for her. When i was there, she didnt reply when i told her i was there. So i chilled around JP. When i couldn't get her, i began to worry and thought maybe she was out and didnt bring her phone and didnt know i was at JP. So i decided to head back to JE. To add on to the last minute pressure, my EZ link was Un"taptap"able. When i went to add value my Debit card gave problems. Its soo beaten up and peeling that i suppose the spastic Machine couldn't read it.... FRUSTRATED i rushed to an ATM. When at the ATM there was a "QUE OF THE DEVIL!" and the time i had to wait was madness. When u have 10 mins to reach JE and you hate to be late, you can get uber pissed. I cant help but notice how idiotic people are when using the ATM. "SOO GOD DARN SLOW.... wheres the sense of urgency when there are 15 people behind you?". Gosh, if i had a blow dart id knock him out with it.  So back to the plot. Once i got my money, THE CONTROL STATION QUE WAS like people queing up for NDP tickets 10 years ago. So i was forced to get a donut to break my cash. So when i got my cash ready to top up my card.... Mengyu called said she just got up and would be late....................................................... So you wasted 2-3 mins of your life to read the above.... i was at the brink of decapitating someone cuz i was rushing to be on time... But in anyways it was a blessing as at least i knew i wouldn't be late. 

Got the book, *Thanks Again M.Y. for waking up to return my txtbk!*, went home.

PART TWO: Dinner - EXPLICIT CONTENT(Parental Advice for grass eaters)

TOM YUM! With prawns, fishball and overdose of Lemon grass...... MOM I LOVE YOUR COOKING but ISNT LEMON GRASS NOT MEANT TO BE EATEN? Nevermind.... Mom knows best! CHEW THE BUGGER LIKE A VEGETABLE....... with almost having my gums bled, at least i know i won't have stinky breath from the lemon grass. MOUTH CLEANSER INDIAN MALAY STYLE!!! WOO!

But the mixture with mom's classic Sambal Goreng Pengantin was EPIC with all the cow lungs, chicken heart, tofu goodness! 

AND THEN........ GUILT STRUCK ME!

PART THREE: WHALE SPOTTED AT BLUE HORIZON SWIMMING POOL!

Yes.... As mom would always call me "PAUS" (whale in malay).... I went to swim. Told myself eversince the long train ride back home last night that i must make a change. Will talk about that change in another post. For now, 20 laps of 20Ms in the pool. It was about 1 year ago when i last did this. Im pretty happy i managed it alright and especially going swimming with a full stomach just proves my possession of an iron tummy. As the chinanese say, "CHHHHIIIIOOOONNGGGGGGGG AAAHHH!!!!!!". 

Yes, 2 months to NS. I want that OCS spot. Its not going to come easy. As the song im listening to now say, "When you want it the most, theres no easy way out".  Once more i shall say,"CHHHIIIOOONNGGGGGGG AAAHHHHHH!!!!". 

PART FOUR: ORGANIZING MY MACBOOK!!!

So i sorted out my files to the right folders cause i usually leave them on the desktop and now its super clean....

Ignore the pictures, i was using them for the blog posts. I have a habit of wanting my desktop to be as clean and as empty as possible. Not cause im some boring person but everything is "under the hood". Its either you know the shortcuts to bring them out or you'll just stare and go "How...uh?"... thats the usual response when my friends touch my mac. hahaha. I love the expression on their faces when they go like that.

So i ....

1) Sorted the files

2) Reconfigured Adium so now it looks more presentable and ADDED SHORTCUTS! again.... 

3) Reorganized my bookmarks so now they all open with one click by the groups.

4) Set up and revived my blogsite.

    - now i need not log in to post. just need to mail them using my MAIL app. (makes life easier!!!!)

    - did some new graphic work to add some spice....something like a "WELCOME BACK!" banner. Although it is technically not that. (The words on the banner i shall explain in another post.)

    - Sorted the mess on the side bar

    - Customized settings to improve efficiency on the blog.

PART 5: On the phone....

This is turning into a regular night routine and just doesn't seem like a complete day without having to go.... "okay...you go ahead and sleep first... Good Night!". This is just like how i have to set up my pillows the same order every night, turn on the music when i sleep, wake up to the right side of the bed and check my comp first thing in the morning..... put it this way... there are just things that i do that i have to do it everyday in a particular way otherwise i will feel uneasy cause my mind would go Microsoft Windows on me like, "PATTERN ERROR 404, please contact your system administrator to resolve this issue." 

Thats a pic of my room to show you how i have to keep things at a certain part of my room and they cannot be moved away far otherwise ill just loose them.  literally and metaphorically to the original subject matter.

SO THATS MY SUPER LONG POST FOR THE GRAND REOPENING OF MY BLOG.... HAKUNNA MATATAA!

I HAVE THE POWER

TEst two.

TEST

TEST one two.